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  • Writer's pictureSara Soenen

Why I'm not making New Year's Resolutions and neither should you.

The older I get and the more social media grows, the more the comparison game is becoming a is becoming all consuming. As my neighbors and I sat around and talked about the expectations of the new year, we all questioned whether we were doing enough. As though being strong independent adults who want to raise amazing children to become strong adults isn’t enough. Somehow keeping a marriage intact, securing a career, managing finances, and taking care of our children is small. I think we need to take a step back and evaluate what we are really trying to accomplish and what really is important.

First none of the goals that the majority of our culture is chasing are bad in of themselves. Wanting to adopt, social justice, building a company, starting a ministry aren’t bad, but the question is are you doing these things because of a desire that has been placed on your heart or because of the pressure of the world around you.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, to recognize what you can and cannot do. Mark and I always thought we would adopt and grow our family. Two bouts of postpartum depression and two kids later we knew that was not good for our family and my mental health. Never, say never, but for now that door has been shut. We all can agree that adoption is wonderful. We all can agree that someone who has struggled with postpartum depression twice and major depressive disorder once, may need to be grateful for the two babies she does have and loving them well instead of sacrificing their well being and their children’s well being to add another member to their family.

I’ve watched the New Year become a highly profitable marketing scheme to remind you of what you’re not doing instead of what you are doing. The majority of the goals people set out to do our self-centered and self-serving. Most of us our pursuing New Year’s goals because we don’t like the way the previous year ended. We either ate poorly, exercised less, or got out of our routine’s and we must spend January making up for that.

Why don’t we focus on making small little decisions every day that will add up to life that we can be proud of. A life that when we meet Jesus we have no regrets. We may not have or achieved a medical breakthrough, but we raised children who love Jesus. We spent our days striving to become more like Christ, and teaching our children what that is like. We worked hard to provide for our family and to be generous to others. We took care of our bodies, because that’s what God has called us to do. We lived within our means because God tells us not to be a slave to our debtors. We loved and cared for those around us because we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. How are you doing on that ourselves part?

So in 2020, at the beginning of this new decade, let’s focus our efforts on becoming more like Christ, with each and every little decision that we make. Let’s watch our lives change one decision at a time, not because of a new year, but because of the transforming love of Jesus.


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